*!@$ toilets

July 26, 2007

Because it matters to me…When at 12 midnight I get walked in on by my ana.  I suppose it’s a matter of probability and time, when one has a bathroom that doesn’t lock (or close) it bound to happen.  Apparently, using the ‘hammom’ at midnight suddenly catapults me into the “high likely hood’ group.  I heard noises, heard someone coming, hoping they wouldn’t come in; an ‘oh crap’ moment, there I was, pants around feet, a square of toilet paper in hand.  In distress, I stood, my nice MN white skin (ever more pasty next to black yoga pants) nicely lit by the open door.  There she was, a woman 3 times my age in floral dress and head scarf, staring quizzically at me.  I gestured with my hand, still clutching my square, while I know Azri for “go to hell’, I haven’t learned “GET OUT IM PEEING!!!!!’  Somehow I communicated that I rather be left alone to finish; after a good look she closed the door with a funny smile.  Guess I’m funny when I pee.  Now every time I see her, she gives me the eyebrow.  Not sure exactly what ‘the eyebrow’ means, but it’s something.

(Sorry if it’s in bad taste, but it’s real. Tho I’m sure you all really wanted to hear about puking…)

Another day my toilet adventures continued when the electricity went off mid puking.  I tripped, pushed open the ajar door and hit the switch.  Like magic, the light flickered back on.  Back to toilet.  Semi close door. Lights off again.  Trip.  Back to toilet.  Semi close door.  Lights off again. Trip. Hit dirty toilet with leg, almost missed.  Tired of the stupid dance, I finally just left door open, praying I wouldn’t get walked in on again (The spastic electrical connection must have been done by a drunk Irishman, can one just *!$@ puke in peace when they are sick??) Besides, it was dark enough…kinda felt like I was a one person comedy show.  Amazing huh? Think that gig would work in the states?  The kicker was that after exiting the facilities, I discovered that the lights were on every where else.  Stupid Irishman!!!  (I’m Irish)

It is lame that after 1 month I miss real sit down flush toilets?  But dham, I have killer quads now. 🙂

As Donny so equilently says:  “We are in fricken Azerbaijan!!!!!”    Sums up my thoughts perfectly.

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One Response to “*!@$ toilets”

  1. siologen said

    Ahaha. They got squat toilets or something? Dont worry, up until today my toilet sprayed half its cistern onto the floor rather than into the bowl. A kick arse Lebanese bloke fixed it tho.

    I never minded too much tho, i was just glad it was a pre mix leak rather than a post mix leak.

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