August 28, 2007

     Each fresh faced noob PCT is the proud owner of a PC issued Water Filter; which is usually and affectionately referred to as “God Dam Water Filter”.(GDWF)  If the Tin Man was ever a toddler, he’d be the same size/weight/ as GDWF and be just as bloody annoying.  At midnight after attempting various ways of packing my GDWF, I finally resorted to shoving it in my suitcase.  My suitcase, tired of the strain, broke nicely, resulting in my suitcase having about as much use as an umbrella full of holes in a down pour. (Looks nice and does jack s—t)  [Later on I realize that breaking was inevitable, because, HELLO, I was trying to shove a circle (GDWF) into a square-ish-rectangle (suitcase)]  Not to be defeated, I whipped out my duct tape and simply duct taped my suitcase around my GDWF, which meant that I could now wheel my GDWF and my winter clothes.  (Charlie, in a flash of sheer brilliance, suggested that I use GDWF as a helmet or dress) 

Next morning, after arguing/pleading with the ‘Shuraka driver (in Baku) to pack the duct taped suitcase and promising to never, ever, tote such an annoying ‘thing’ again, there was 15 min. of cussing and evil looks from the other passengers as GDWF was smashed into the bus.  Eventually, after peeing on my foot, getting hit on by an odd ‘teacher’ (who excitedly called his friend, bragging about the American girl who was now his girlfriend), sweating more than any girl should be allowed to sweat, sitting down wind from the stankiest (as in ‘I’ve never ever washed, but dip my clothes in urine every day’ uber rank) man ever, and sending the entire bus into hysterical fits of laughter with butchered Azri, I made it to ISM. 

As the bus lurched into ISM, the kind woman sitting next to me (who brought me Chy at the rest stop, and made me eat bread and cheese) gave me ‘The Ring’.  On par with Nates ‘Pimp Ring’, this one was huge, gaudy, and blinging like fresh ghetto.  And I actually, really think ‘The Ring’ is beautiful; she gave it to me for several reasons:  1. it’s considered good luck to give something to strangers, even better luck if the stranger is foreign.  2. We actually had a conversation using Azri/English/Hand Gestures and 3. Her kids are grown and gone and she wants another daughter!  She gave me ‘The Ring’ and I gave her my mini bottle of hand sanitizer.  It was prolly an uneven trade in terms of beauty, (FYI: you can’t wear a hand sanitizer bottle on your hand)  but she gave something that was important to her and I gave up hand sanitizer which is the only substance that stands between me and death by wretched germs.  Every passenger on the bus waved good buy when myself and GDWF were painfully extracted and standing on the sidewalk ready for our new adventure. 

Can’t even describe my counterpart’s eyes when she saw me and GDWF.  I’ve never really been able to fully explain why I have such a contraption, but it has provoked such brilliant streams of profanity to pour from my lips that even Siolo and DS would cry, and they are the best cussers ever.


3 Responses to “GDWF!!!!”

  1. siologen said

    Yeah, you can now use the word ‘Carnt’, cos noone in AZ would know what it means, plus your closer geographically to England where its far more acceptable.

  2. ds said

    Spill the beanz!

  3. mcmacdonald said

    What, the mighty DS? you finally show up on my silly dribble, its about time, I’ve been missing my Aussie bois.

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