Squats, a Bear, Worms and other random things

November 6, 2007

Squats

Realized today that something is dreadfully wrong with me/life/AZ/sanitation now/sanitation then/ bricks/proper hygiene., when I have a weak tolerance for filthy squat toilets, and would rather walk through 18th Century Sewers with falls of nasty rubbish then actually clean my own squat.

A Bear

The lot of us were at a certain place chatting up certain people. There was a bear, in a cage, the floor covered in trash that people had thrown in. I tried not to look, but when I did, the bear was in a corner, biting his own arm and banging his head against the bars.

Worms

On accident I ate worms. I realized my dreadful mistake when I glanced down at the dish, after having a vague thought that the walnuts tasted funny, (but they were already half way down to my stomach, so what the hell) and saw one lone squirming survivor of my nasty feast. I panicked. The next 30 min were spent in tears, in my loo, desperately trying to puke. My body pathetically refused to comply. I’d like to announce that I’m in the market for a new digestive tract.

A Rat

My rat, Mr. Burns, finally made a daylight appearance. He is the size of a cat, but not cute and gave me a cheeky look before he scrambled into my bedroom wall. His favorite annoying habit is to crawl into the wall behind my bed, near my head and gnaw on pieces of rubbish. Strangely enough this causes my dreams to either start or end with a sound equivalent to nails on a chalk board.

Peace Corps Med Refills

 Included in my refill is anti-blemish cream that is lime green and smells like baby barf; the package is in Russian (which I cannot read) so I really have no idea what substance (or combination of substances) can be both green and smelly and supposedly make me lovely. Never scared, I dabbed a bit on my face and waited…nothing happened. I was truly hoping that green goop would, at the very least produce something noteworthy (alien life forms in my epidermis, loss of all thigh chub, supermodel legs, a perma-tan), alas it seems that tho its color and smell recommend it for greater things, it is simply anti-blemish cream. (As far as I know, in the states you don’t find hemorrhoid cream in neon orange, eh?)

Passport photos

I hate getting my picture taken. Even more annoying was picking up my passport photos today and seeing that there was a red string on the lenses; which means that I have a red string hanging strategically off my chin. This did not make me happy.

Photography

On the up side the gent (60+ with white hair and a nice set of gold grills) who runs the shop collects old camera parts (drool), loves photography, plays speed chess and nearly cried with joy when I talked with him about manual cameras. We ended our conversation with us both agreeing that digital cameras are bad (well more truthfully, I’m just jealous of the digital cams Mr.X, Ds, and Silker own; but I really don’t know how to say that in Azri) and that I need to visit again. This made me very happy.

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5 Responses to “Squats, a Bear, Worms and other random things”

  1. Mike said

    Mmm, old camera parts… and manual cameras, for that matter. You must be fairly adept at Azeri to converse about photography, eh?

    Can you transcribe the name of the mysterious Russian anti-blemish cream? For that matter, are you *sure* it’s face cream, and not, say, shaving cream, a yeast-infection remedy, or toothpaste? 🙂

  2. siologen said

    Squat toilets gave me sore thighs.
    Bears shouldnt be in cages.
    Where they earth worms or intestinal worms?
    I like rats.
    I only ever used Phizahex which was acne cream. I recall leaving it on too long and causing the skin on my face to peel when i was in my teens.
    Chin dangles rawk.
    Im buying YET ANOTHER 28-85mm Nikkor lense tommorow. Gotta stop breaking them.

    И с тем я желаю вам точное прощание!

  3. mcmacdonald said

    they were the worms that live in walnuts.it still gives me a panic attack thinking about it 😦
    dude, i thought i was a bad klutz, but sheesh, you might be taking my title. ive been extra careful w/ my lovely rangefinder…when we bust up a certain place, i’m gonna stay the heck away from you lest our bad luck rubs off on each other!!! ❤

    Well my Azeri is good in subjects i’m interested in..but when it comes to discribing food, cooking, clothes or politics…i’m beyond wrteched. :-p I’m sure thats what it is, it cant be regular body lotion or pepto…? lol
    learning russian is beyond my ability. yikes

  4. Brian said

    I agree that bears shouldn’t be in cages. They should be in Canada 😛

    viva digital

  5. Mike said

    I’m not sayin’ what’s in it, but a 2lb, 1.5oz package is on its way to you. 🙂

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