Puking and a Disgruntled Rooster

November 30, 2007


Food poisoning is truly funny in the AZ.  The was a moment on Sunday night when I was pissed because I had spent more time that weekend with/in my Loo than I had with my guy (that fine Matt had been gone the weekend was a point lost on me, I was still pisssed)  Thinking that time spent equaled feeling better, I was lulled into a false sense of security and attempted to fall asleep by crawling under my PC Sleeping Bag, and coverlet of gold.  10 min later all my ninja skills were called into action as I rocked forth from my bed and over the booby trap I had unwittingly set for myself. (said trap consists of the following: a space heater and mobile on a chair 2 inches from my bed, the appropriate cords are strategically placed across my path and connect to a power strip who’s cord is cunningly placed across the path to my bedroom door, if you know me at all, anything in my path that’s smaller than an adult Rhino is hazardous) So I leapt and made it to my plastic bag in time to catch the rubbish.  Concluding that massive continuous amounts of projectile vomit were not an indication of stellar health, I phoned the wonderful doctor on staff. Our conversation was the following:

Doc:  Hello, Colleen?

Me: Hi

Doc: What is the matter, what can I help with?

Me:  Uhh, mmmm, I uhhh  {puking and phone dropping simultaneously}

Eventually, I was able to converse in a normal manner with the Doctor:

Doc: Hi, are you OK?

Me: (Summoning what was left of my dry humor)  ‘Well, I’m curled up in a ball on my floor puking at midnight and shaking so bad my muscles hurt, I think there are 400 pins being pushed into my stomach region and I’m running out of places and things to pour rubbish into.  No I don’t think I’m OK’.

  Disgruntled Rooster

I was tempted to say disgruntled C—k.   Most nights around 12ish midnight there is a woefully confused rooster who goes off for 15-20 min.  I‘m sure somewhere in the world that its 5 am and the sun is rising (prolly a warm country that has sun?) but not in AZ.  One night I had fallen asleep around 9pm only to hear the damm bird go off at 12am, causing me to haul arse out of bed, and stand in the middle of my room while I tried to figure out what the bloody hell was wrong with me that I had responded to the wretched screeching of a 2 legged, pea brained, feathered covered foul 6 coops away.  I hate chickens.


10 Responses to “Puking and a Disgruntled Rooster”

  1. Brian said

    I hope you’re feeling better! I sent some things that might help you avoid getting sick along with your Christmas present.

  2. mark t said

    colleen. i hope you’re getting better. i’m sick too. if we meet again someday we can tell sick abroad stories…i mean stories about when we’re abroad and sick…not sick in the slang sense. I have similar problems as you, only not as severe and it’s on the other end. why is it when it’s on one end it’s ok to talk about it but when it comes out the other end it’s disgusting? I think they’re both prett gross and unfortunate.

    anyway, love from mn


  3. siologen said

    Your Cockerel friend must have been Indian or Pakistani. If he’d gone off at 9pm when you went to bed then he’d a been Aussie.

    Did you spew out your nose?

  4. mcmacdonald said

    Siolo, yes it was spewing in the grossest, most projectile way buuuut, i felt loads better after.:-)

  5. mcmacdonald said

    Mark, I’ve been sick more times in the 6 months I’ve been in AZ than i have in my entire life in the states. its truly funny!
    Where are you now? and hearing from you made my week and its only monday and wow do i ever miss our life in “The House”

  6. mcmacdonald said

    brain…i cant wait 🙂 n yes i feel better tho id give a lot to sit n drink coffee with you after photographing Amph Drain.

  7. Kate said

    Late reply here, but… I’m sorry you were sick. I’m glad there is a doctor on staff!

  8. kayorsonsweaver said

    I find it amusing that you refer to your spewtum as “rubbish” – that’s so lady like.

  9. Mike said

    I find it amusing that Kay, above, refers to vomitus – the regurgitated contents of the stomach and digestive system – as sputum, which is phlegm hocked up or otherwise expelled from the lungs and respiratory tract.

    Pesky English language; you’d think, wouldn’t you, that one “spews” sputum, but that’s rarely the case. Go figure. 🙂

  10. mcmacdonald said

    given the ammount that came out, im sure it was a evil combination of both substances.
    even im grossed out now, so why the heck am i laughing so hard?

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