2 for 2 in scandalous Bazaar Visits.

November 11, 2008

                   J (my Azeri sister) and I decided to take on the bazaar in search of stockings for the impending toy I had to attend and her school rules (legs must be covered at all times regardless of weather-itchy and scratchy are words that apply).  Having not braved the bazaar since my quest for thigh rubber last Aug., I was hopeful that a non-descript entrance/exit could be made.  No such luck.  After receiving half a dozen propositions, we stopped in desperation at a stall run by the most ancient Xanim we could find, hoping that purchasing from her would redeem our reputations.  She proudly pulled out a pile of nylons packaged in wretched photo-shopped images of Reese Witherspoon’s head on an Asian woman’s body (confusing, but endlessly funny) along with non descript tin cylinders of older, apparently less titillating leg coverings.  Unfortunately, the sizes she had ranged from overweight to bloated elephant and a crowd of sleazy men and obviously curious women had gathered to watch us shop.  Without hope we opened the last tin of nylons…and there in my hands, all sorts of black stretchy goodness with a bit of lace, was the first pair of crotch-less nylons I have seen since working at Vickie’s over holiday while in college.  J and I stopped, shock stunning us into silence and open mouths. Deciding this was too good to pass up, surrounded by gasps of disapproval, evil looks and kissing noises, I quickly brought the stockings in hopes that at least the Xanim hadn’t looked close enough to notice the lack of material and once and for all seal my doom as a woman on the prowl.  We ran out of the bazaar laughing hysterically at our fortune of having the most rad region bazaar purchase thus far, if ever in the ‘Baijan.  The chances of finding naughty crotch-less black stockings in ISM, in the bazaar, being sold by a Xanim old enough to be my great-great-grandmother are astronomically slim, if even existing. 

      London Mark says that crotch-less nylons are all the rage in London and finally I can call myself fashionable. 

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11 Responses to “2 for 2 in scandalous Bazaar Visits.”

  1. Mike said

    And how does London Mark know what sorts of nylons are in fashion? 🙂

    I don’t know why you’re surprised at finding crotchless nylons in AZ; didn’t you say they were stuck in the eighties, as far as fashions go?

    I seem to have lost your mailing address, BTW. If you could email it to me, I’ve got something for you. 😉

  2. Kate said

    I’ve never even seen crotchless nylons. At first I just thought you meant like thigh high nylons. Too funny.

  3. Mike said

    Kate… no offense, but you live a kind of sheltered life. 🙂

  4. s/// said

    But the big question remains…

    Are you gunna wear em?

    Hah!

  5. mcmacdonald said

    have in the ‘Baijan and will…in London if you and Ds wear what i find you on my next trip.. 😀

  6. s/// said

    Lol, i obviously dont mean wear them by themselves!

    Under your clothes.. Gawd your such a pervert.

    Ill wear anything EXCEPT assless chaps.

  7. Mike said

    I guess you gotta draw the line somewhere, eh? 🙂

    Incidentally, is there such a thing as “assed chaps”? Aren’t all chaps, by definition, “assless”?

  8. mcmacdonald said

    chaps are worn over tight blue jeans to protect the arse hugging blues from getting ruined while riding horses, wrangling cows, slamming whisky shots and all other manner of cowboy type activities.

    kt: 😀

  9. Brian said

    They also have pockets to hold bail money, for when slamming whisky shots turns into a good old-fashioned showdown at the corral.

    …at least, they should.

    Mike, from what I understand, chaps are anything worn for the purposes C just described. Motorcyclists who wear full leather pants over their regular pants refer to them as “chaps.” The cowboy chaps you’re thinking of are, like you said, assless by definition – but there is another type which purposely covers everything EXCEPT the ass cheeks, presumably for no other reason than for the wearer to cause a ruckus at weddings, job interviews, and other such formal-dress occasions.

  10. mcmacdonald said

    leather pants…in drains…he he!

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