Ah! The Signs of Spring…

June 10, 2009

  • The Man in the Black SUV is back like the plague, appearing out of no where when I’m alone and following me home.  Somehow in spite of 2 house moves and a brief homeless stint last Fall, he still managed to find me now that warmer weather has hit. I see this as evidence of him possessing no life whatsoever as well as the creativity of a dish sponge.  In the words of DS. ‘You need a guard dog!’
  • Which bring up the issues of dogs.  In the summer gangs of dogs roll around Izzy Town (TM Dushka) barking, humping, drooling and decorating the little grass that still exists with rubbish.  Usually these gangs consist of a token little Dashand/Welsh Corgi mix that windmills his legs to trot pathetically being the big dogs that collectively resemble a hairy grunge band (Pearl Jam??) of wonky faced boxers who always lost the fight.  Unfortunately I never fail, at the end of my run, to see at least one very large dog getting ‘fresh’ (that’s for you Silo) with the midget dog(s) outside my flat.
  • Over the winter the few, the proud and the incredibly dull formed an elite group of males who were responsible for ensuring that all inanimate objects were sufficiently propped up with enough backside to last the winter.  Now that the temperature has reached the melting point, the elite group has expanded to include the incredibly stupid in uncontested membership whose only requirement is that one possesses the intelligence of a Coke bottle and the jeans tight enough to cut off circulation.  That’s just another way of saying that my walks are no longer pleasant or quiet.
  • Last summer thanks to Murad and Elnor, Izzy Town was introduced (knocked over) to the joys of bicycling.  This spring has seen the birth of no less than a dozen bikes being operated in the city center (the only place with enough paved area) by dudes/kiddies.  In a highly amusing contrast the small bikes have overgrown pre-pubescent teenagers/dudes riding them while the slightly large bikes have 6th formers who can barely reach the peddles wobbling about in circus worthy follies.  A diabolic urge to reach out and push over bike and rider takes hold of me every time a tiny bike with a big dude zooms dangeriously close to lopping off my knee caps-I have rationalized this evil by considering it just retribution for the absolute distress most of the male population causes me every time I leave the flat.
  • The resurrection of affectionate nicknames generally relating to the color red that are bestowed upon me by my girls.  The following are a few of the things (blog appropriate) I have been called since landing, ungracefully and nervously 2 years ago in the AZ:

 

Pomidor (tomato-due to my skillz at burning all visible skin)

Girmazi Giz (red girl-again related to sun damage)

Kamala (smart-since Colleen was tooooo difficult to pronounce)

Englissss Giz (English girl-obviously I’m English since I speak English)

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3 Responses to “Ah! The Signs of Spring…”

  1. Kate said

    This makes me laugh. You recount it all with such dry humor/sarcasm that I can’t tell how seriously you are bothered by it. I can’t believe that they haven’t got more used to you after two years!

  2. mcmacdonald said

    i’m still kinda a big deal here… ;-p
    things do bother me, but i’m gonna laugh and use it as fodder for writing gold! 🙂

  3. […] Since the spring of ’09 I have been plagued by an army of bike riding terrors ranging in age from 5-35-this was briefly mentioned in a post a while back: Ah The Signs of Spring […]

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