August | 2010 | inalittlewhile

PSA to the Snaggletooth Bike Riders of Izzy Town

August 26, 2010

Since Murad and Elnor introduced the worthy youth of Izzy Town to the joys of biking, the trend has slowly grown in the years following the summer ’08-unfortunately, as with many sports/clothing/fun activities, biking is an activity that is strictly for males-females being in danger of losing their virginity if the road happens to be a tad bumpy-puzzling, I know.

Since the spring of ’09 I have been plagued by an army of bike riding terrors ranging in age from 5-35-this was briefly mentioned in a post a while back: Ah The Signs of Spring

in which I admitted my fantasy of taking revenge before I left Izzy Town for good.
Since I have only a few weeks left of living here; the time seemed right to start finally growing a pair (so to speak) and giving the riding twats a run for their money.

Since I was in a bad mood to start with-a lack of adrenaline has been killing my soul of late-I was just waiting, quite eagerly, for any chance to unleash my wrath.

Since it was the same 9 year old dirty, snaggletooth, Mongrel who’d been persistently harassing me-a favorite phrase, was ‘LITTLE BUNNY!!!!’ followed up with a few foul words-it took 2 near misses in the town center, outside the stately Hayder Museum, before I called him an ‘ass hole’ and pushed him and the dinky bike over.

Since the town center is paved, both bike and Mongrel landed with a good satisfying smack- for what Mongrel lacks in education, he makes up for in persistence by gamely picking up both himself and bike, giving me a look of both shock/anger and wobbling off, unhurt, to a safe distance.

Since I’m that kind of person who pushes 9 yr old twats, I didn’t even feel guilty…until several hours later, when having a moment to think, I had the sober conclusion that not only did I teach Mongrel a new swear word, I also taught him how to piss off the American with little consequences beyond a ding or two in an already shoddy bike.

Since Mongrel represented the last 3 years of harassment that I’ve sometimes lacked (ashamedly enough) the strength to stand up to on the daily, I am perfectly fine with being happy I pushed him over; however passive aggressive, wrong or bad example it might be.

And I’ll do it again